Just lately I have felt the need to deactivate all my accounts. Everyday I sit and scroll through the same 3 apps bored out of my mind. I deleted all of my photos on Instagram yesterday. Seeing girls more pretty than myself turns me into an envious mess at times. Some days I feel beautiful, usually when I decide to actually make an effort for a change, shower, style my hair, and maybe even wear a bit of makeup. My partner prefers to see me natural but makeup gives me a bit of a confidence boost. However, on days like yesterday I felt sluggish and ever so ugly. Constantly comparing myself to these girls that upload a good selfie every day. I’m lucky enough to get one good selfie when I actually make an effort. My partner always asks me why I post selfies. I’m not sure really why, I’m not exactly searching for a lot of likes. When I make an effort with my appearance I don’t want to waste it, I want everyone to see me. These days don’t come too often. I like to keep this social persona that I’m outgoing and not sitting in my house in my pyjamas all day watching Supernatural. Even a selfie that I do really like I end up staring at it for too long and notice all of my flaws in the picture, then delete it. When I think about it I should remove my Instagram, all it does is make me dislike my appearance. Also my twitter, I rarely even post anything I just like to keep up with what everyone else is doing. If i deactivate my Facebook I know that i’m going to be flooded with questions from my family and friends to see if I’m okay, but they won’t believe me if I say I am. It’s not exactly the “social norm” to not have Facebook these days.
Does anybody else feel the way I do?